Sometimes I have a tendency to “overthink.” Overthinkers tend to create problems that don’t exist which at times can cause undue stress, strain and anxiety on oneself. This can be manifested in your behavior or in some cases, your body. If you’re in tune with your body, you know when it’s in distress. Let me explain further.
After last night’s Periscope Session ended (Knowing Where Your Money Is Going,) my lower back IMMEDIATELY began aching. It wasn’t that rheumatoid arthritis, bursitis, pinch nerve kind of pain, but that “you’re stressing yourself out and this is ONE way I’m going to show you” kind. I knew where the stress was coming from however, I didn’t immediately address it. I was so drained. I was bothered. I felt defeated. I didn’t even call Mista to say goodnight as we normally do. I sent a text instead. I just wanted to crash out. The problem is, I couldn’t sleep. I woke up the first time. It was almost 2am. I hadn’t been asleep three hours. The second time? UGH OH! Here comes the anxiety. I knew it because an hour later, I woke up in a state of panic. I hadn’t had one of those episodes since my “drowning in debt days,” but somehow I managed to fall asleep once again. My alarm went off at 5am. I tried to lift my head and it felt like a ton of bricks. “Please no,” I said as the pain pulsated from temple to temple. A sinus headache? How can this be when my humidifier is right next to the bed?
I knew what this was all about. As I lay there, I began thinking (because I do that sometimes,) “Why are you stressing about the scope session?” The “Overthinking Perfectionist” in me didn’t believe the Scope Session went well. Why some of you may ask? I wasn’t getting the positive feedback I normally receive. If you are familiar with Periscope, you know giving “hearts” lets the “Scoper” know someone agrees with what you are saying or likes what you have to say, or likes you period. In a nutshell, hearts can be used to measure a person’s “likeability.” Likeability? What the hell? I’m not on Periscope for followers to “like” me per se. Don’t misunderstand me. Likeability certainly helps. My goal however, is to present information that I pray other people can take, use and benefit from. Perhaps, I stepped on some toes last night, or maybe, just maybe, those that were tuned in were actually LISTENING to what I was saying.
Usually, I will rewatch my Scope Session before bed and critique my presentation, but I didn’t do that last night. I had already made up in my mind the presentation was “craptastic” therefore resulting in a “craptastic” Scope Session.
What a “craptastic” way of thinking.
Self-talk is so important. It can make or break you. When you are confident in your abilities, you have to trust and believe in them regardless of the feedback you may or may not receive from others. Simply put, had I watched my scope session as I normally do, I’m positive I wouldn’t have awakened this morning feeling like I wrestled with a grizzly bear in my sleep.
I’ve always said over the years no matter what I was engaged in be it my “marathoning” days, making people laugh on YouTube, teaching my students, or giving back to the community, “If I can touch the life of ONE person, I’m doing what I’m supposed to do.”
This morning, as I scrolled through my Twitter mentions (I like to go back and individually thank those who share my Scope Sessions,) one person I thanked in particular said, and I quote, “I am loving your work. So many people need this.”
There it is… The affirmation from God that confirmed what I already knew. I did what I was supposed to do.
To you Shawn S…. Thank you.
~The Financial Hack ©2015
TO WATCH LAST NIGHT’S PERISCOPE SESSION CLICK HERE:
Look at this photo. In it you will see a potted plant next to the fireplace. What’s the big deal? I’ll tell you. This is the plant given to me to take care of when my cousin “Bubba” died in 2010, approximately SEVEN days after I got married. I married Christmas Eve, he passed New Year’s Eve. Five years later, his plant is still thriving but that wasn’t always so. I always took special care of that particular plant. I watered and pruned it. After a while it was no longer thriving. It began to wither, the leaves became sparse and I could tell it was dying. After a while, I thought there was no hope left for “Bubba’s plant,” but I refused to let it go. Bubba was like a little brother to me and when he was a young boy, like a son. 24 years old is too young to die and he had so much living to do.
So what happened to the plant you ask? There’s an answer to that too. I evaluated the factors contributing to the death of the one plant I cherished so much and came to three conclusions:
1) The plant had been in the same spot receiving DIRECT sunlight for years. All plants don’t need direct sunlight they just simply need to be in the “presence” of the light.
2) The leaves were yellowing because of overwatering but I couldn’t understand why its growth had become stunted and wasn’t thriving.
THEN WHAT WAS MOST IMPORTANT HIT ME:
3) THE PLANT HAD OUTGROWN IT’S PLANTER!!! Its roots were exposed and could no longer spread because its soil had eroded.
To solve the problem, I re-potted the plant into a planter that could accommodate its growth, added more soil to COVER its roots and repositioned the plant so it was no longer receiving direct sunlight. The result: ABUNDANT GROWTH. The new planter not only made room for the roots to spread and grow, but old leaves were revived, new leaves formed and as I type this, sprouts of new leaves can be seen.
So what did I learn from my quiet time in reflection:
In life, we sometimes have to be “RE-POTTED,” our roots “RE-COVERED” and our life “REPOSITIONED” in order to thrive.
Change is inevitable. We can adapt to it or resist and risk stunting our growth. I could have given up on “Bubba’s plant,” but I refused. Look at it now. Growing. Thriving. Flourishing. THAT’S LIFE. THAT’S LIVING.
Rest In Peace Bubba…. I Love You.
The Financial Hack ©2015