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MY TWO CENTS 1/27/17-My Resisting Spouse

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QUESTION: I am the CFO of my family (I handle the household bills) and am very good at what I do. The problem is my husband. He never wants to talk about budgeting saying, “Budgeting is for poor people. We are not poor so we don’t need to do it.” I’ve asked what he thinks we should do however, he is extremely adamant about not talking about it, period. How do I get him to budget, or should I just do it without him?

MY TWO CENTS:

It’s always important that couples are on the same page financially. Contrary to popular belief, the majority of marriages fail because of financial reasons, not infidelity as many may think. I was once in a marriage where disagreements regarding finances was a major issue. That coupled with “other” stressors unfortunately led to its demise, but I dare not digress so allow me to make a couple of suggestions:

  1. POSITION: You are the CFO of the family. Hmm. Think about that for a second. Have you declared yourself Chief Financial Officer of the family to your spouse, to extended family members or friends? Some men have extremely fragile egos and regardless of your intent, you declaring yourself Chief Financial Officer of the family may indicate authority over your husband making him feel emasculated. This could result in subconscious resentment towards you. Usually one spouse handles the finances because either one is better at it than the other or one has more time to do so. As petty as it may sound, consider resigning from the position of CFO (or at least from making the reference aloud.)
  2. APPROACH: When are you bringing up the topic of budgeting? Here are a couple of examples of when NOT to approach your husband regarding budgeting: Immediately upon coming home from work and before, during or after a football/basketball/baseball/hockey game etc. Those times will result in immediate “shut down.” After a stressful day at work and/or a long commute home, talking about budgeting is the LAST thing your husband wants to do. Most prefer to decompress and relax. Asking questions on “game day” is definitely out. For many men, game day is their “me time” or “time with the guys” especially if their spouses/partners are not into sports. In this case, do the opposite of what Nike says…. “Just don’t do it.”
  3. INVOLVEMENT: Try breaking the ice by asking your husband what his top three money goals are. Ask him what his plans are for achieving those goals. LISTEN TO HIM. If the mood is positive, introduce how budgeting can help achieve those goals. The key is not to dictate what should be done. Work together. Feedback and communication are important. You are a team. Stress the importance of how a collective effort can produce fruitful results. GOOD LUCK!!!

Wishing you financial prosperity and success in your marriage,

~Andrea L. Coleman, The Financial Hack

 

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THE FOUR MONEY BEARS.. DO YOU KNOW WHO THEY ARE?

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THE FOUR MONEY BEARS by Mac Gardner, CFP®, CRPS®, CRPC® is a “must have” book to introduce young children to the concept of money and how to use it wisely. Simplistic yet succinct, I highly recommend it. This book would make a great addition to your local school/public libraries. I’ll be speaking with DeSoto School Board Trustees for book approval, even if I have to purchase them myself. Purchase this book for your little ones or anyone you believe can benefit from it. (Available on Amazon.)

~Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs)

Andrea L. Coleman (The Financial Hack) 2016
Helping Hand Financial Counseling Ministries

MOTIVATION MONDAY: You HAVE NOT because you ASK NOT

As I’ve navigated and continue to navigate on this financial journey of mine (it’s never-ending you know,) I’m always learning something new along the way. One thing my mother always tells my sister and me is “You HAVE NOT because you ASK NOT.”

Have you ever told yourself “No” to something before you bothered to ask the question, even of yourself? Case in point: The man who discounts his chances of scoring a date with a young lady because he doesn’t think he’s “her type.” How does he know what her type is? Now granted there are ways a man can tell if a woman is what some consider “high maintenance,” and whether or not he can keep up with her “lifestyle,” but as not to get too technical, let’s keep it simple for all practical purposes. Allow me to tell you my story:

Last week, I wrote in my Tip Tuesday post “What’s in your Valpak Envelope” about a coupon from a bank where first time customers opening a new checking account could get $150 just for doing so. Read that post here:

https://thefinancialhack.com/2015/10/14/whats-in-your-valpak-envelope/

Here was the catch: The coupon was to be presented at the time of opening the account and an EFT/direct deposit must be established and deposited into the account within the first 60 days. I was behind the eight ball because 1) I didn’t have the coupon at the time I opened the account which required the coupon code, 2) The account in question was now 30 days old and the main problem 3) The coupon would be expiring October 16th. I in essence had TWO DAYS to do all I could to take advantage of receiving $150 of F-R-E-E MONEY.

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Some people, because of the odds stacked against them, would have automatically told themselves “No.” I refused to allow my circumstances to dictate what I thought would be the outcome. Remember: EXCEPTIONS CAN ALWAYS BE MADE. I knew this was a decision that only the Branch Manager could override, but I still went through the proper chain of command. Attitude and tone is everything. As the saying goes, “you attract more flies with honey than with vinegar.” So I flashed the banker my “colgate smile,” explained my situation and presented my coupon. He attempted to use some creative tactics to enter the coupon code, but was unsuccessful. He called an 800 number and was given a few additional creative tactics to try but was still unsuccessful in his efforts. I explained to the banker this wasn’t just about the $150 (which is what I WANTED,) but also about establishing relationships and building customer loyalty (which is what the bank NEEDED.) I told him if the bank could do this for me, they had a life-long customer. DUH DUH DUNNNNNNN… Enter the Branch Manager.

I allowed the banker to explain my situation to him, and the Branch Manager asked for my coupon. Upon reading it, he told me he was unable to override the transaction because the monthly EFT/Direct Deposit amount had to be at least $500. UMMM WHAT? I read the fine print when I first saw the coupon in the Valpak envelope, read it a second time before heading to the bank, then one last time in the parking lot of the bank. No where did the coupon specify a monthly Direct Deposit dollar amount. I asked the Branch Manager to show me on the coupon where a dollar amount was specified and I would not take up any more of their time. HA! I’ve got him in a trick bag now, because he couldn’t substantiate his comment. What now? Awkward silence, at least for the Branch Manager. Sitting with a smile on my face, I began to reiterate how I know the bank values customer loyalty and overriding this transaction was certainly a great way to gain mine. At the end of the day, the Branch Manager said because I was so persistent as well as knowledgeable, and only on occasion do people like me come into the bank and ask for/challenge the rules, would he override the transaction. I’d like to think it was my reference to customer loyalty that caused the override. Perhaps it was because the Branch Manager erroneously assumed I hadn’t read the fine print. Perhaps it was a combination of the two. WHO CARES! It’s a WIN/WIN situation. I got the $150 and the bank now has a life-long customer.

RULE OF THUMB: Never tell yourself “NO.” Let THEM answer. It could very well be a resounding “YES!”

~The Financial Hack ©2015

RANDOM

 
The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender. (Prov. 22:7) WHAT ARE YOU SHACKLED TO? Credit card debt, medical bills, student loans, living beyond your means, keeping up with the Jones’, frivolous behavior, mismanagement of your money? The list can go on and on. IT STOPS HERE. IT STOPS NOW!!! Break the shackles that keep you chained to grief, worry and anxiety and take back control of your life. Email me at AndreaColeman@thefinancialhack.com for your FREE consult. 

The Liebster Award Part II

I AM TRULY HONORED TO BE NOMINATED AS A NEW BLOGGER. WOW!!!

My Countdown To Freedom

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Again, big thanks to Unchained55 for the Liebster Award nomination. You can see my answers to Unchained55’s questions here.

Here’s a recap of the rules for the Liebster Award:

  1. Insert the Liebster award logo in your post
  2. Thank and link those who nominated you
  3. Reveal 11 interesting facts about yourself
  4. Answer the questions designated by the blogger who nominated you
  5. Nominate up to 11 other new bloggers with less than 100 followers
  6. Ask 11 questions of your own to your nominees that they have to answer
  7. Notify your nominees about The Liebster Award
  8. Include instructions of the process in your post

I would like to nominate the following bloggers:

Glenn Thrifty

The Financial Hack

Frugal Can Be Fab

20000pennies

Dorothy and Charles

Sheryl’s 2 Cents

  1. Where do you see yourself in five, ten and twenty years?
  2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would…

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